When Nellie Dresses

From The Topeka State Journal, October 28, 1912.
 

 When Nellie goes upstairs to dress,
   I take a magazine,
 And read about the wonders of
   Some far-off foreign scene;
 An article of men who graft,
   The Wall Street system, too;
 Also the editor’s remarks
   On what next month he’ll do.
 
 I light my pipe and puff away
   The while the page I scan,
 And read a Robert Chambers tale
   About some love-sick man.
 A muck-rake expert leads me through
   A bale of torrid stuff
 Explaining how a lot of men
   Got rich upon a bluff.
 
 I read the advertisements next,
   Of collars, kodaks, cars,
 And breakfast foods and underwear,
   Tobacco and cigars.
 A liberal education I
   Obtain, I must confess,
 The evening we are going out
   And Nellie starts to dress.