The Way It Goes

From The Topeka State Journal, March 9, 1915. By Roy K. Moulton.

She ransacked every novel
    And the dictionary, too,
But nothing ever printed
    For her baby’s name would do;
She hunted appellations
    From the present and the past,
And this is what she named him
    When they christened him at last:

Julian Harold Egbert
    Ulysses Victor Paul
Algernon Marcus Cecil
    Sylvester George McFall.
But after all the trouble
    She’d taken for his sake,
His father called him Fatty,
    And his schoolmates called him Jake.