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The Modern Catechism

From the Rock Island Argus, May 29, 1914. By Henry Howland.

Give a definition of success. “Money.”
Give a synonym for happiness. “Money.”
What attaches honor to a name?
What produces privilege and fame?
What relieves the sinner of all blame?
    “Money.”

Give a definition of respect. “Money.”
What enables people to “connect?” “Money.”
What brings haughty monarchs to their knees?
What brings titled suitors over seas?
What makes wisdom look like cottage cheese?
    “Money.”

Give a ready synonym for goal. “Money.”
What is more important than the soul? “Money.”
What removes the ugliness from vice?
What in lieu of beauty will suffice?
What is proudly gained at any price?
    “Money.”

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