The Hired Girl’s Way

From The Topeka State Journal, October 18, 1912.
 

 The nights our hired girl stays home,
   An’ don’t expect her beau t’ call,
 She’s jes’ as nice as she can be,
   An’ doesn’t hustle round at all.
 Sometimes she takes me on her knee
   And tells me tales of pirates bold
 That used t’ sail upon the sea
   In search of silver and of gold.
 
 An’ she don’t pack me off t’ bed
   As soon as supper time is through.
 Or tell me that I’m in her way
   Becoz she’s got her work t’ do.
 But in the kitchen I can stay
   An’ she jes’ tells the finest things
 Of soldiers fightin’ every day
   An’ princes bold, an’ evil kings.
 
 But when her beau is comin’ up
   T’ take her out t’ see a show,
 She makes us hustle through our tea
   So’s she can get dressed up to go.
 An’ you jes’ orter see her frown
   If Paw sits talking very long,
 An’ you should hear her bang around
   T’ let him know he’s doin’ wrong.
 
 An’ Maw don’t dast t’ say a word,
   An’ Paw jes’ swallers down his tea,
 An’ then she grabs the dishes up,
   An’ says she ain’t got time fer me.
 You orter hear her rattle plates
   An’ see her grab each dish and cup,
 An’ wash ‘em clean as quick as that
   The nights her beau is comin’ up.
 
 She don’t have time for stories then,
   Or nothin’ else I want t’ do.
 Paw says there is no stoppin’ her
   When she is eager t’ git through.
 An’ I git hustled off t’ bed,
   An’ I don’t like it, not at all,
 I can’t see why she acts that way
   Jes’ coz her beau is goin’ t’ call.