The High-Ball Route

From The Tacoma Times, January 14, 1914. By Berton Braley.

Girlie, I’ve noticed the flashy guy,
    The one who’s chasing around with you;
Believe me sister, he don’t get by;
    You want to chuck him—and sudden, too;
He may look grand and he may talk great,
    But take my warning and cut him out,
For the guy who’s honest and true and straight
    Don’t court his girl by the high-ball route!

Them friends of his that you’ve had to meet
    Ain’t just the kind that you ought to choose,
For how kin a decent girl keep sweet
    In a crowd that’s given to paint and booze?
There’s too much glitter and flash and glare;
    That duck’s too much of a “good old scout;”
Believe me sister, the guy who’s square
    Don’t court his girl by the high-ball route!

You get some feller that thinks you’re queen
    And tries to keep you from any wrong;
This present party is far too keen
    On leadin’ you off with the giddy throng;
The true-blue feller will treat you white,
    But not where the spigots fizz and spout;
Believe me, sister, the guy who’s right
    Don’t court his girl by the high-ball route!