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Newspaper History

A Diagnosis

From The Topeka State Journal, December 4, 1912.
 

 I didn’t know I had it till a little while ago—
 I haven’t been sure of it till within a day or so.
 I’d felt some symptoms of it, in a dim, uncertain way,
 Since first I read the ad about the medicine one day.
 Last week, however, I struck on the most convincing ad
 And now I know I’ve got it, and I know I’ve got it bad.
 
 At first I thought I saw some floating specs before my eyes,
 And then I’d feel that lassitude each morning when I’d rise;
 And so I kept on reading ads about man’s awful ills
 Until I found I suffered from dumb fever, aches and chills;
 I noticed that full feeling for an hour succeeding meals—
 I felt the way a man in gravest illness aways feels.
 
 Why, I’ve had the symptoms; I’ve had buzzing in the head,
 And sudden loss of temper; can’t remember what I’ve read;
 My feet will often “go to sleep”; my fingertips get numb—
 I shouldn’t doubt if I should be both paralyzed and dumb.
 And, as I say, last week I struck the most convincing ad—
 I don’t know what may ail me, but I know I’ve got it bad.
 
 I’ve written to the doctor for that medicine of his—
 I’m ready to acknowledge that it’s what he says it is.
 I’ve got my letter written, telling what I have endured;
 My picture has been taken, and I’m ready to be cured.
 I’ve suffered all the symptoms that the other patients had—
 I only know I’ve got it, and I know I’ve got it bad.