From the Rock Island Argus, August 4, 1914. By Henry Howland.
If I possessed an income, say,
Of thirty thousand dollars yearly
And had it fixed in such a way
That I could see it coming clearly;
If, whether I should work or not,
The money kept on rolling to me,
I do not think a dismal thought
Would ever stubbornly pursue me.
If such an income could be mine
And I were young as well as wealthy,
If ladies thought my gifts divine,
And I were handsome, too, and healthy,
If men should always speak of me
In terms that were most eulogistic,
I don’t think I should ever be
A fretful man or pessimistic.
If I had all the blessings which
Lie out beyond my reach at present;
If I were handsome, young and rich
And my surroundings were all pleasant,
I might have freedom from regret;
The chances are, though, that I shouldn’t,
For still, no doubt, I’d long to get
Some other something that I couldn’t.