From the Rock Island Argus, December 15, 1913. By Henry Howland.
We’ve married sister off at last, and pa and ma are glad;
The troubles that we had are past; we’ve all quit feelin’ sad;
Now mebby I’ll have things to wear that wasn’t pa’s before,
And none of us will have to care about expense no more.
They say his father’s got a pile; he gave a house to sis,
Where him and her will live in style, with servants, after this.
Pa used to fret a lot about the price of meat and coal,
But now his heart is free from doubt and joy is in his soul.
We put on all the airs we could when he began to come.
I acted as they said I should and pa quit bein’ glum.
Ma, every chance she got, would tell about our pedigree,
And made him think we had a swell and old, old fambly tree.
We all pretended to believe that sis was somethin’ great
And that we’d set around and grieve if she would meet her fate.
Ma often got him coaxed aside and in a tremblin’ tone
Would tell about the boys who’d tried to win her for their own.
We went in debt to dress her well—of course he never knew.
Gee, but we kept her lookin’ swell; she was outclassed by few.
Pa cut my hair to save expense; we kept things clean and neat,
And everything was cooked immense when he stayed here to eat.
We’ve got her married off at last, and pa and ma are glad.
The troubles that we had are past; we’ve all quit bein’ sad.
It took all we could raise to dress her so she’d catch a prize;
The way the plan worked out I guess it pays to advertise.