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Sporting Communication

From the Evening Star, July 26, 1914. By Philander Johnson.

Dear Editor:
I wish to call attention to the fact
That while in most respects your news is liberal an’ exact,
There’s something you are missin’. I am wonderin’ how you could
Be so indifferent to our influential neighborhood!
You write about the contests on the turf or in the ring,
But, up to now, your sportin’ page has never said a thing
About the mighty battle where two giants was arrayed;
I mean the game of checkers me an’ Ezry Slocum played.

’Twas him as sent the challenge. Leastways, he was heard to say
That he could beat Si Perkins playin’ checkers any day.
My last name bein’ Perkins an’ my fust name bein’ Si,
Of course, I couldn’t pass the base insinuation by.
Although our feelin’s was intense, our speech was never rude.
We calmly met the gaze of the assembled multitude
That stood on barrels an’ on crates an’ even on the shelves
To see how me an’ Ezry Slocum would acquit ourselves.

I made a swift attack an’ jumped him all along the line.
I romped around his king row purty much like it was mine.
Oh, you talk about your polo or your golf or your base ball!
I want to say the game that we put up ‘ud beat ‘em all!
I am writin’ to remind you that in this enlightened age
The public will take notice, if your valued sportin’ page
Neglects to mention who has riz up to fame so high—
The Checker Cyclone; which the same is
            Yours sincerely,
                        Si.

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