Jimmy’s Diagnosis

From the Perth Amboy Evening News, January 3, 1913.
 

 My pa says, “Step lively, son,
     An’ do as you are bid.”
 My sister, too, the biggest one,
     Calls out, “I want you, kid!”
 Ma wants some kindlin’ from below
     Or somethin’ else like that,
 An’ grandpa’s goin’ out, an’ so
     I’ve got to hunt his hat.
 
 If I start out to go an’ play—
     It doesn’t matter when—
 Somebody ‘fore I get away
     Will call me back again.
 An’ when they git me back about?
     The only thing they do
 Is look at me an’ holler out,
     “I’ve got a job for you!”
 
 It makes no difference how I try,
     Them jobs is never done.
 ‘Cause ‘fore I git one finished, why,
     They find another one.
 An’ if I have some doggone task
     An’ go to play instead
 They all say they’re surprised an’ ask,
     “Whatever ails the kid?”
 
 You bet I know what ails me too.
     I ain’t no reg’lar dunce.
 They always want that I should do
     Too many jobs at once.
 But I don’t see why they should call
     Me “lazybones.” Well, yes,
 The thing that ails me most of all
     Is too much folks, I guess.