Civic Pride

From the Rock Island Argus, August 26, 1914. By Henry Howland.

We’ve made gains at Pumpkin Center, as the census figures show;
We have twice the population that we had ten years ago;
We have outstripped Cherry Valley and left Podunk in the rear;
We are catchin’ up with Bingtown and are crowding Rensaleer;
By annexin’ all our suburbs we have made a mighty stride,
So you’ll see it ain’t no wonder we are full of civic pride.

Yes, our grafters keep on graftin’ in the same old busy way;
There’s another scandal started nearly every other day;
Can’t somehow persuade the voters that it wouldn’t be a crime
To quit votin’ the same tickets that their dads did in their time;
Got a council full of rascals; gettin’ robbed on every side,
But we’ve gained in population and are full of civic pride.

There is rubbish in our alleys and the air is full of smoke;
We’ve a waterworks department, but it’s got to be a joke;
There is graftin’ in the courthouse, likewise in city hall;
The streets are full of mudholes and get no repairs at all;
We’re in debt and gettin’ deeper so the crooks can be supplied,
But we’ve outstripped Cherry Valley and are full of civic pride.

We should have another schoolhouse—issued bonds a year ago;
It appears the grafters somehow gobbled up the money, though;
We’ve a law forbiddin’ gamblin’, but the gamblers never mind,
And the town looks like the dickens, but we’ve left Podunk behind;
We are catchin’ up with Bingtown; we’ve spread out on every side,
So you’ll see it ain’t no wonder we are full of civic pride.