Hitchin’ ‘Em Up

From The Topeka State Journal, November 29, 1912.
By Roy K. Moulton.
 

 The marriage microbe is a bird that’s hard to understand.
 The short man always asks the tall skyscraper for her hand.
 The man who’s six feet in his socks will wed for good and all
 Some maiden who is passing fair, but only four feet tall.
 The brilliant girl who takes the prize and outshines all the school
 Is more than apt to cast her fate in marriage with some fool.
 The learned man who knows his books and has a sober mind
 Most like weds the dizziest young damsel he can find.
 The prettiest of all the girls will wed some cross-eyed gink
 Who doesn’t look as though he knew enough to even think.
 The homely girl most likely hooks the handsome millionaire.
 The frivolous maid weds a man who’s loaded down with care.
 The pious girls is apt to draw some old night prowlin’ skate
 Who doesn’t think that 3 o’clock is anywhere near late.
 The pastor of the church may draw a social butterfly
 Who thinks more of her new fall hat than mansions up on high.
 The more you try to solve the thing, the less you really know.
 Philosophers all gave it up some centuries ago.
 The mystery is fathomless, as much now of yore.
 It’s only human nature, pure and simple, nothing more.