Month: February 2021

  • Cyrus Bottsford’s Candid Opinion

    From the Rock Island Argus, February 8, 1913.
     By S. E. Kiser.
     
    
     There’s a lot of folks who always keep a-growlin’ at the rich;
     Every man who has a million they’d have put in boilin’ pitch;
     They will not forgive a person who contrives to get along
     But I don’t believe that havin’ lots of cash is always wrong.
     
     Mind I don’t pretend to argue that the rich are always right;
     There are lots of men with millions that have souls as black as night;
     But I’ve studied the thing over, and I guess there’s one thing sure:
     It’s no sign a man is noble just because he’s keepin’ poor.
     
     I’ve a sort of crazy notion that there may be here and there
     Some rich man who’ll go to heaven and secure a crown to wear
     For I’ve met some wealthy people as I’ve traveled round about
     That I don’t believe that heaven can afford to do without.
     
     And I’ve got another notion which I’d like to have you know-
     All the poor may go to heaven; I can’t half believe it, though.
     There are poor men who are worthy, but I can’t help feelin’ sure
     That you’ll not get past St. Peter just because you have been poor.
  • The Indian Rancher

    From the Washington Standard, February 7, 1913.
     
    
     My fathers roamed the prairie
         In the days when men were free,
     But a hundred and sixty acres
         Is the home that must do for me;
     I must master the plow and reaper,
         Nor look at the winding trails,
     And thousands there are to jeer me
         In case the red rancher fails.
     
     My fathers dwelt in the open,
         But I have a stifling shack;
     I dream of the shining tepees,
         But the morn brings sharply back
     The fences that clip one’s freedom—
         The ranch and the toil that waits—
     And I say farewell to my fathers
         When I open the barnyard gates.
     
     But visions still overwhelm me
         In spite of my will to win
     And the fences and buildings vanish
         And the village comes trooping in;
     The tepees gleam in the meadow
         The children shout by the stream
     But I wake at the clank of the harness—
         ’Tis only a red man’s dream!
  • Bedouin Love Song

    From The Birmingham Age-Herald, February 6, 1913.
     By Bayard Taylor.
     
    
     From the desert I come to thee,
     On a stallion shod with fire;
     And the winds are left behind
     In the speed of my desire.
     Under thy window I stand,
     And the midnight hears my cry;
     I love thee, I love thee,
     With a love that shall not die
     Till the sun grows cold,
     And the stars are old,
     And the leaves of the judgement
     Book unfold!
     
     Look from thy window, and see
     My passion and my pain;
     I lie on the sands below,
     And I faint in thy disdain.
     Let the night winds touch thy brow
     With the heat of my burning sigh
     And melt thee to hear the vow
     Of a love that shall not die
     Till the sun grows cold,
     And the stars are old,
     And the leaves of the judgement
     Book unfold!
     
     My steps are nightly driven
     By the fever in my breast,
     To hear from the lattice breathed
     The word that shall give me rest.
     Open the door of thy heart,
     And open thy chamber door,
     And my kisses shall teach thy lips
     The love that shall fade no more
     Till the sun grows cold,
     And the stars are old,
     And the leaves of the judgement
     Book unfold!
  • When Pa Was My Age

    From the Rock Island Argus, February 5, 1913.
     By S. E. Kiser.
     
    
     When pa was my age he was glad
         To do just as they told him
     He never made his parents sad
         They never had to scold him.
     He never, never disobeyed
         Nor punched his little brother
     And day and night he always made
         Things pleasant for his mother.
     
     When pa was my age he would clean
         His shoes when they were muddy.
     He never thought his folks were mean
         Because they made him study.
     He always tried his best to be
         For goodness celebrated
     And he was praised by all—but, gee!
         How pa’s degenerated!
  • Parcel Postludes

    From The San Francisco Call, February 4, 1913.
     
    
     O’er many a weary, aching mile
         The parcel postman ambled
     And when he reached our domicile
         The eggs he brought were scrambled.
     
     The hat he left for Mabel, too,
         Caused her poor heart to flutter;
     ’Twas saturated through and through
         With some one’s melted butter.
     
     And Brother Bill is tearing hot
         He doesn’t think it’s funny
     The socks and ties and shirts he got
         By mail were smeared with honey.
     
     But father’s smile is soft and bland;
         We all know by that token
     His snake bite cure, though contraband,
         Came through the mail unbroken.
  • Grand Opry

    From The Topeka State Journal, February 3, 1913.
     By Roy K. Moulton.
     
    
     Grand Opry as a form of entertainment can’t be beat.
     I love to cough up ten good bones and buy myself a seat.
     To hear some howling tenor from some low-browed foreign land
     Come forth and yell a lot of stuff that I can’t understand.
     
     I simply dote on listenin’ for several mortal hours
     While them high-priced sopranners exercise their vocal powers.
     I think I get my money’s worth. Oh yes, of course I do
     And I am always sorry when the jamboree is through.
     
     There’s nothing I like half so well and for a chance to go
     I’d walk five miles in my bare feet right through the ice and snow.
     I know what you are thinking, I’ve got your thought wave quite-
     You’re thinking I’m a liar and I guess you’re thinking right.
  • A Wet Sheet and Flowing Sea

    From the New York Tribune, February 2, 1913.
     By A. Cunningham.
     
    
     A wet sheet and a flowing sea,
         A wind that follows fast
     And fills the white and rustling sail
         And bends the gallant mast;
     And bends the gallant mast, my boys,
         While like the eagle free
     Away the good ship flies, and leaves
         Old England on the lee.
     
     O for the soft and gentle wind!
         I hear a fair one cry;
     But give to me the morning breeze
         And white waves heaving high;
     And white waves heaving high, my lads,
         The good ship tight and free—
     The world of waters is our home
         And merry men are we.
     
     There’s a tempest in yon hornéd moon
         And lightning in yon cloud
     But hark the music, mariners!
         The wind is piping loud;
     The wind is piping loud, my boys,
         The lightning flashes free—
     While the hollow oak our palace is
         Our heritage the sea.
  • Zoological Myths

    From The Birmingham Age-Herald, February 1, 1913.
     
    
     Certain creatures oft heard of, pray who ever saw?
     There’s the camel whose back broke beneath the last straw.
     There’s the wonderful goose that laid eggs of pure gold,
     And the bull that got in where the china was sold.
     There’s the ass that the skin of a lion doth wear,
     And the wrong pig we frequently get by the ear.
     The wild horses that never, no never could drag
     Us somewhere—there’s the cat we let out of the bag.
     There’s the bird that goes whispering secrets around,
     Whoever has seen it, whoever has found?
     There’s the oft-mentioned dog in the manger that stands,
     And the elephant someone has got on his hands.
     There’s the ravenous wolf from our doors that we keep,
     And the wolf that goes round in the clothing of sheep.
     There’s the nightmare that somebody tells us they’ve had.
     There’s the cat with nine lives and the March hare that’s mad.
     And the fox that declared that the high grapes were sour,
     And the grim dogs of war—it would take quite an hour
     Just to list all the odd, freakish creatures that we
     Nearly every day hear of, but never once see.