From The Topeka State Journal, December 21, 1912. This is all that I expect Santa Claus to bring to me: One large boat—my old one’s wrecked; One large, lovely Christmas tree; Then I need a larger drum, That says “boom” instead of “tum”; And I want a nice long whip That will make our tomcat skip; Then I hope to get a ball That will dent the hardest wall, And a bat that will not split Every time that it is hit; Next I’d choose a pair of skates Just as nice as sister Kate’s, And a bright large monoplane That will carry rag-doll Jane; Then I’d like a lot of things That are run by hidden springs— Rats and spiders, and the like; And I need a brand new bike With a coaster-brake that will Make work easy down a hill. There! That’s all I asked him for. Still, I’m hoping (since he’s Dutch) That he’ll bring a few things more— As I have not asked for much!
Month: December 2020
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A Small Order
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A Strenuous Courtship
From The Topeka State Journal, December 20, 1912. By Roy K. Moulton. Hank annexed a motorcycle Of the chugging, snorting kind, Then he went and called for Sadie And she clambered on behind. Through the city street they snorted Forty-seven miles an hour, Scaring people, dogs, and horses, Always crowding on more power. Sadie wrapped both arms around him And she hung on for dear life, Faster, faster, cutting through the Atmosphere just like a knife. Jolting, jarring, popping, snapping, Like the fourth day of July, On the wings of John D.’s petrol Did our Hank and Sadie fly. Hank he hollered: “Honest, Sadie, Ain’t it what you might call bliss? ’Tis a cinch, my little lady, I could ride through life like this.” “There ain’t nuthin’ to prevent it,” Screamed our Sadie in his ear, But the motor was so noisy, Hank could not exactly hear. Seven times did Sadie scream and Try to make him understand; Finally he got her answer And he blushed to beat the band. Then he turned around to kiss her. ’Tis a foolish thing to do When you’re on a bumpy highway, And you’re hitting fifty-two. Some time later they were rescued, They were hanging in a tree; Sadie, she was bruised and shaken, Hank had just a busted knee. In the hospital they married, Showing that they still had spunk, Then he sold the motorcycle To a man who dealt in junk. That was many moths ago and Now on cycles they don’t ride. But they run a horseless carriage With a cherub tucked inside.
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Over the Hills to the Poorhouse
From The Detroit Times, December 19, 1912. By Will M. Carleton. Over the hill to the poorhouse I’m trudgin’ my weary way— I, a woman of seventy, and only a trifle gray— I who am smart an’ chipper, for all the years I’ve told, As many another woman that’s only half as old. Over the hill to the poorhouse—I can’t quite make it clear! Over the hill to the poorhouse—it seems so horrid queer! Many a step I’ve taken a toilin’ to and fro, But this is a sort of journey I never thought to go. What is the use of heapin’ on me a pauper’s shame? Am I lazy or crazy? Am I blind or lame? True, I am not so supple, nor yet so awful stout; But charity ain’t no favor, if one can live without. I am willin’ and anxious an’ ready any day To work for a decent livin’, and pay my honest way; For I can earn my victuals, an’ more too, I’ll be bound, If anybody only is willin’ to have me ‘round. Once I was young an’ han’some—I was, upon my soul— Once my cheeks were roses, my eyes as black as coal; And I can’t remember, in them days, of hearin’ people say, For any kind of a reason, that I was in their way. ‘Tain’t no use of boastin’, or talkin’ over free, But many a house an’ home was open then to me; Many a han’some offer I had from likely men, And nobody ever hinted that I was a burden then. And when to John I was married, sure he was good and smart, But he and all the neighbors would own I done my part; For life was all before me, an’ I was young an’ strong, And I worked the best that I could in tryin’ to get along. And so we worked together; and life was hard, but gay, With now and then a baby for to cheer us on our way; Till we had half a dozen, an’ all growed clean an’ neat, An’ went to school like others, an’ had enough to eat. So we worked for the children, and raised ‘em every one; Worked for ‘em summer and winter, just as we ought to’ve done; Only perhaps we humored ‘em, which some good folks condemn, But every couple’s childr’n’s a heap the best to them. Strange how much we think of our blessed little ones! I’d have died for my daughters, I’d had died for my sons; And God He made that rule of love; but when we’re old and gray; I’ve noticed it sometimes somehow fails to work the other way. Strange, another thing; when our boys and girls was grown, And when, exceptin’ Charley, they’d left us there alone; When John he nearer an’ nearer come, an’ dearer seemed to be, The Lord of Hosts He come one day an’ took him away from me. Still I was bound to struggle, an’ never to cringe or fall— Still I worked for Charley, for Charley was now my all; And Charley was pretty good to me, with scarce a word or frown, Till at last he went a courtin’, and brought a wife from town. She was somewhat dressy, an’ hadn’t a pleasant smile— She was quite conceity, and carried a heap o’ style; But if ever I tried to be friends, I did with her, I know; But she was hard and proud, an’ I couldn’t make it go. She had an edication, an’ that was good for her; But when she twitted me on mine, ’twas carryin’ things too fur; An’ I told her once, ‘fore company (an’ it almost made her sick), That I never swallowed a grammar, or ‘et a ‘rithmetic. So ’twas only a few days before the thing was done— They was a family of themselves, and I another one; And a very little cottage one family will do, But I never have seen a house that was big enough for two. An’ I never could speak to suit her, never could please her eye, An’ it made me independent, an’ then I didn’t try; But I was terribly staggered, an’ felt it like a blow, When Charley turned ag’in me, an’ told me I could go. I went to live with Susan, but Susan’s house was small, And she was always a hintin’ how snug it was for us all; And what with her husband’s sisters, and what with childr’n three, ’Twas easy to discover that there wasn’t room for me. An’ then I went to Thomas, the oldest son I’ve got, For Thomas’s buildings’d cover the half of an acre lot; But all the childr’n was on me—I couldn’t stand their sauce— And Thomas said I needn’t think I was comin’ there to boss. An’ then I wrote to Rebecca, my girl who lives out West, And to Isaac, not far from her—some twenty miles at best; And one of ‘em said ’t was too warm there for any one so old, And t’other had an opinion the climate was too cold. So they have shirked and slighted me, an’ shifted me about— So they have well-nigh soured me, an’ wore my old heart out; But still I’ve borne up pretty well, an’ wasn’t much put down, Till Charley went to the poor-master, an’ put me on the town. Over the hill to the poorhouse—my childr’n dear, good-bye! Many a night I’ve watched you when only God was nigh; And God’ll judge between us; but I will always pray That you shall never suffer the half I do today.
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Her Coat
From The Topeka State Journal, December 18, 1912. When winter to the leafless world His coming still delays, She watches the thermometer With eager wistful gaze; And half a dozen times an hour She wishes she could go Where zero juggles with the bulb, And all is frozen snow. She reads the weather man’s report, And jumps for joy one day Because at last a frigid wave Is somewhere on the way. No, she is not an Eskimo From polar lands remote, She only wants it cold enough To wear her new fur coat.
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Youth
From The Seattle Star, December 17, 1912. By Berton Braley. I’m glad I’m young and fond of youthful laughter, Finding much joy in all this wondrous earth; My heart a house—filled up from floor to rafter With love of life and light and gentle mirth— I’m glad I’m young, with eyes that still can twinkle, With ears that pleasure when the songs are sung, And lips that still recall the way to crinkle At jest and whimsy—ah, I’m glad I’m young! I’m glad I’m young, although my hair has whitened And I am near my three-score years and ten; Youth in my heart has kept my spirits lightened, The ways of youth are still within my ken; And if I cannot dance—I watch and listen, Thinking of memories to which I’ve clung; My blood still leaps, my eyes are still aglisten, And, though I’m old, I’m glad that I am young!
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The Machine
From the Evening Star, December 16, 1912. By Philander Johnson. How lucky is the great machine, Set up with cunning art. It runs unwearied and serene, A flywheel at its heart. Its stomach is the furnace great; Its muscles are of steel; It does not halt or hesitate; It does not think or feel. Its veins are filled with fluid fire; It knows no bliss or pain; No fierce, unsatisfied desire Persuades it to complain. When it is ill, no nostrums quench The energy that thrills— A man comes with a monkey wrench And cures it up or kills. And when it cannot do the tasks It has performed for years, It seeks the scrap pile and it asks No sympathy or tears.
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The Builders
From the New York Tribune, December 15, 1912. By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. All are architects of Fate, Working in these walls of Time; Some with massive deeds and great, Some with ornaments of rhyme. No thing useless is, or low; Each thing in its place is best; And what seems but idle show Strengthens and supports the rest. For the structure that we raise Time is with materials filled; Our todays and yesterdays Are the blocks with which we build. Truly shape and fashion these; Leave no yawning gaps between; Think not because no man sees, Such things will remain unseen. In the elder days of art Builders wrought with greatest care Each minute and unseen part; For the gods see everywhere. Let us do our work as well, Both the unseen and the seen; Make the house where gods may dwell Beautiful, entire, clean. Else, our lives are incomplete, Standing in these walls of Time, Broken stairways, where the feet Stumble as they seek to climb. Build today, then, strong and sure, With a firm and ample base; And ascending and secure Shall tomorrow find its place. Thus alone can we attain To those turrets where the eye Sees the world as one vast plain And one boundless reach of sky.
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Jes’ As Sure As Christmas
From the Omaha Daily Bee, December 14, 1912. Take it when a fellow’s naughty ‘long about this time of year When you count the days a comin’ ‘fore old Santa Claus is here There is some one to remind you to be careful and be good Or the old chap will forget you and jes’ pass the neighborhood. I’ve heard it every Christmas time, and once I used to think That everything they said was so, and scarcely dared to wink; But I’m a little wiser now and only smile today For Santa always seems to come no matter what they say. “Now, Willie,” says my mother, “If you’re not a better boy, And don’t stop doin’ all these things which trouble and annoy, I fear that Santa Claus will jes’ drive past on Christmas eve, And not a single present from his pack will stop to leave.” But, even as she says it, I can see a half-way smile And I know she’s only scarin’ me and foolin’ all the while. I don’t believe that Santa Claus could bear to stay away; At any rate he always comes no matter what they say.
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Overzealousness
From The Detroit Times, December 13, 1912. While journeying along through life I often call to mind Zeb Wiggins, who was always in a fret; He really was at heart most conscientious of mankind, Assuming all the burdens he could get. Zeb took a steamboat once. He needed travel and repose. The doctor said, “Give all your cares the slip,” But he somehow got a notion, why or how nobody knows, That he ought to help the captain run the ship. He sat up all the night to watch for icebergs on the bow, Though sailing where the latitude was warm. He thought the porpoises were whales who meant to raise a row, And every cloud loomed up with threats of storm. He broke into the pilot house. They had to throw him out. A nervous wreck, he finished up the trip, And said the fact that all were safe was due beyond a doubt To the way he helped the captain run the ship.
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The Regular Fellow
From The Topeka State Journal, December 12, 1912. By Roy K. Moulton The Regular Feller is one who kin smile When everything goes dead wrong; Kin smile with a smile that’s free from all guile And tinker up some sort of song. The Regular Feller kin whistle a tune When things seem to be breaking bad, He tries to be happy with what he has got, Forgetting what he might have had. The Regular Feller don’t talk all the while, Like rattlebrained fellers all do, But when he says something, just make up your mind It’s something worth listenin’ to. The Regular Feller don’t tell what he’s done, Or big things he’s going to do soon. He just goes and does ‘em and keeps his mouth shut His secrets he tells to the moon. The Regular Feller has no time to stoop And dig into other folks’ ground. For small village scandal he cares not a whoop, He passes no gossip around. The Regular Feller speaks well of his kind, Or else he says nothing at all. There’s no room for rubbish or junk in his mind, No room for the thoughts that are small. The Regular Feller does not slap your back, And brag that he’s always your friend. But when you’re in trouble and others all quit, He’ll stand by you, right to the end.