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If They All Did It

From The Tacoma Times, December 25, 1913. By Berton Braley.

The Congressmen are singing in the chorus of a show,
The Speaker’s booked in Vaudeville at a house in Buffalo,
The Senators have organized a minstrel troupe of skill,
And wherever they are playing they are features of the bill;
The august, able Judges of the Nation’s Court Supreme
Are clowning in the circus and their antics are a scream;
The Cabinet is scattered many places near and far—
The Labor Secretary is a comic opera star,
And those of War and Navy are just “Turning ‘em away”
With some very fancy shooting at a lively cabaret.
And some are at Chautauquas where the voice of duty calls,
And some are doing dances in the London music halls,
And the head of all the Nation, whom we call our President,
Is at present giving lectures which will help to pay his rent;
There’s a drowsy air of languor over Washington, D. C.,
And the place is hushed and silent as a city well could be;
There are cobwebs on the buildings, there is fungus on the doors,
And the watchman sits and dozes and the janitor he snores;
There is dust upon the papers and the desks are buried deep,
For the theaters have opened and the capitol’s asleep.
Of course, the Nation’s business is neglected quite a spell,
But the Vaudeville-lecture business pays particularly well!

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