Considerable Fish

From The Detroit Times, May 2, 1913.
 By Berton Braley.
 

 “Speakin’ of fishes,” said the Tar,
 “Speakin’ of fishes, near an’ far,
     There once was a gentleman shark I knowed
 As swallowed our anchor fer a hook
 An’ when he seen what a bite he’d took
     Went hikin’ off through the sea, an’ towed
 That ship along like a bloomin’ chip,
 Though she was a regular monster ship.
 He towed her backwards, mile on mile
 Though the engines fought him all the while;
 He towed her over the heavin’ foam
 He towed her into the pier at home
 An’ then with many a bump an’ shock
 He towed that vessel upon the dock;
 He towed her up through the city street
 At a pace that a race horse couldn’t beat.
 He towed her over the vale an’ hill
 An’ he never stopped a bit until
 The screw got caught in a spreadin’ oak
 An’ the anchor chain an’ the hawser broke
 But the shark kep’ on with a grim intent
 Though I never did learn where the monster went.”
 There was silence awhile in the village bar
 As a tribute mute to the bold Jack Tar
 An’ it looked like the palm would sure be his
 Till old Bill Jackson said, “Gee Whiz!
 I kin tell you just where yer big fish is;
 An’ I know the tale that you tell is true
 ‘Cause I caught the shark as he hove in view
 An’ I got him stalled in the stable now
 An’ I use the critter to help me plow.”
 Then the old Tar rose an’ he said, said he,
 “By the Great Horn Spoon, that sure beats me.”
 Then his face grew pale and he gave a start
 And he fell and died—of a broken heart.