A Modern Courting

From The Seattle Star, June 10, 1913.
 By Berton Braley.
 

 Miss Nancy O’Neill was a suffragette lady,
     Decidedly militant, too,
 Who was loved by an Irishman, Martin O’Grady,
     But vainly indeed, did he woo;
 For Nancy was busy at blowing up houses
     And kicking the chancellor’s cat,
 And so had no time to be thinking of spouses
     Or frivolous subjects like that.
 
 With bon bons and flowers poor Martin pursued her,
     But Nancy was deaf to his suit.
 Though gently and sweetly and kindly he wooed her
     At all his proposals she’d hoot.
 Till finally, wearied of being so tender,
     So patient and placid and calm,
 He gave up the homage he once used to render—
     And sent her a dynamite bomb.
 
 He trampled her garden with ardor most fervent,
     Cast bricks through her window with zest,
 Set fire to the house and abducted her servant,
     Attempted to poison her guest;
 So Nancy said, “How can I EVER resist him?
     Such militance beats me,” she said;
 So she put her fair arms round his neck and she kissed him,
     And now they are happily wed.