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Posts tagged as “The Seattle Star”

Beautifying the City

“Mister, would you contribute a dollar to help beautify your thriving city?”
“What’s the idea?”
“A dollar will buy me a ticket to the next town.”

Easy

Poem from The Seattle Star, March 27, 1912. By Berton Braley.

A Sad Discovery

“How does Brown like the high position he was recently promoted to?”
"Not very well."
"But I thought it was paying him $10,000 a year?”
"So it is. But he’s discovered that his employers expect him to earn it.”

Changeless

Poem from The Seattle Star, March 23, 1912. By Berton Braley.

Plenty to Do

“Don’t you think the government ought to regulate corporations?”
"I don’t know,” replied Senator Sorghum, “sometimes I think a government official has enough to do to get elected to a job and hold on to it without assuming any more responsibility .”

Their Friendship Shattered

She — How did they ever come to marry?
He — Oh, it’s the same old story. Started out to be good friends, you know, and later on changed their minds.

She Had His Number

Mrs. Knowsitt — My husband is an out-and-out optimist.

Little Ethel — What is an optimist, mama?

Mrs. Knowsitt — A person who doesn’t care what happens so long as it doesn’t happen to him.

How Fame Comes

Scribbler — It took me nearly ten years to learn that I couldn’t write poetry.

Friend — Give it up then, did you?

Scribbler — Oh, no. By that time I had a reputation.

Trouble in the Mirror

A self-made man is all right until he begins to worship his creator.

The Modern Girl

He — What do you call a real typical modern girl?

She — One who prefers an heir in the castle to a castle in the air.