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Posts published in “Quip”

Getting a Light

"The Indians used to smoke a pipe of peace."
"They never could have remained peaceful if they had been compelled to depend on these modern matches to light the pipe."

Domestic Pleasantries

Wife (during the spat) -- I wasn't anxious to marry you. I refused you six times.
Hub -- Yes, and then my luck gave out.

Quip of the Day

Talent shapes itself in stillness; character in the tumult of the world. --Goethe.

Quip of the Day

The forger first uses the pen and ink, then he's in the pen and thinks.

From the Chestnut Tree

"Nobody should make love in the country."
"Why not?"
"The potatoes have eyes, the corn ears, and the beanstalk."

A Near Employee

"Ever been on government work before?" asked the job interviewer.
"Very nearly, sir" was the reply.
"What do you mean by very nearly?"
"Well, you see, sir, there wasn't quite enough evidence to convict me."

Slightly Burnt

Hubby -- I thought you had given up burnt wood art, dearie?
Wifey -- Ferdinand. How can you be so heartless. This is a pie.

Mirthful Remarks

"I have an idea for a summer novel."
"That seems inconsistent."
"Huh?"
"How can it be a summer novel if you put an idea into it?"

Got a Cigarette?

Cigarette Begger: "Got a cigarette?"
Cigarette Fiend: "Yes, that's the tenth one I've given you today."
Begger: "Why don't you give them up?"
Fiend: "I do every time I see you."

When the Cowboy Fainted

Young Lady (on her first visit West) - "What do you have that coil of line on your saddle for?"
Cowboy - "That line, as you call it, lady, we use for catching cattle and horses."
Young Lady - "How interesting! And what do you use for bait?"