From The Tacoma Times, January 24, 1913. By Berton Braley. Each time I go to buy my shoes, I say, “Now THIS time I will choose A last to fit my dainty foot And simply seek Myself to suit. I will not let the subtle clerk With siren voice and oily smirk Persuade me that I ought to fall For shoes too pointed and too small.” But when I enter in the store It goes exactly as of yore; The clerk convinces me that I Have no idea what to buy, And by some magic makes me see That what he wants to sell to me— A pair of shoes too short and tight— Is really just exactly right. He makes me think a narrow toe Is really very broad, and so I buy HIS choice—and not the pair Which common sense would bid me wear. Result—my corns their aches renew, I have a painful week or two; But when that pair wears out—ah, then, I’ll do the same fool thing again!